Wedding Crashers

It all started with an innocent text from my Vietnamese friend Tung. “Hey do you want to go to dinner with my family tonight?”  As a college kid it is universally accepted that if your friend's parents are in town and invite you to dinner you know two things: 

1. It will be good 

2. You most likely will not have to pay

Free dinner and delicious Vietnamese food? Count me in!

One thing I’ve learned here is that the Vietnamese rarely tell you the essential details that you need to know. This was not just dinner. This was not just with Tung’s parents and sister. I soon realized this as we walked outside only to find a mega bus filled with all of Tung’s extended family inside. “Where on earth would we find a restaurant big enough to fit all of these people”, I wondered. I knew we were definitely going somewhere very nice.

When I asked Tung where we were going she casually mentioned that some family friends were in town celebrating their 30^th wedding anniversary. Ah-ha! Now we’re getting somewhere. Unable to get any more information out of her than that, I assumed we would be going to one of the big hotels in Saigon to eat a fancy meal. Although I felt a little bit awkward about going to someone’s wedding anniversary that I had never met before, Tung assured me that no one would notice that I was there.

When we pulled up to our destination, I realized she was right. We were not, in fact, in front of a hotel or a fancy restaurant. We were in an amusement park. As we walked through the canopy of lights we stepped into a grand ballroom, which just happened to be floating on a lake. As I turned to my left I saw a swan boat approaching through heart shaped balloon arcs with the married couple in full wedding attire inside. This was only the beginning.

Throughout the 7 course meal, the speeches, the drinks and the entertainment, I had a grand time.

First was the cake cutting ceremony. There was a huge tiered cake which the couple delicately sliced into. When I asked Tung what kind of cake it was she responded, “Fake. We don’t eat cake here, we just want to be like Western weddings”

Next came the complicated champaign pouring scene, where the couple popped and poured champaign into a complex array of glasses which drained into one another. Of course there was dry ice and fireworks as the liquid was poured.

Then came the dancers. Guests are not allowed to dance at Vietnamese weddings despite the fact that there is constant music. (My favorite was the 4 minutes it took for me to realize I was listening to a Muzack version of “Yesterday” by the Beatles). However there is a paid troupe of dancers, decked out to look like a wedding party, whom had no relation and/or connection to anyone at the party. They danced flamenco, modern, pop, jazz and big band swing (although none of it to the correct type of music). It was very much dinner and a show.

Finally after a mildly offensive speech in broken English by the drunk former best man (“there are three rings in marriage: the engagement ring, marriage ring, and suffering”) we all got up and left. We said goodbye to the bride and groom, got back on our bus, and that was that.

On the bus ride home, I looked over at Conner, one of my fellow American students and said, “I’m expecting to wake up in just a few seconds and none of this will have been real. Promise you’ll remember for me?”

“A night like this?” she replied, “you’ll never forget it”